Covert Agreement


I had a conversation about 3 things you should stop waiting for from people in the latest episode of Get High On Motivation. The first, which is the list, can be considered the most important. Ironically, this is the one that many of us know the least. This is the first time I learned this concept from a guest in my show. They educated us about what can cause problems in romantic relationships. It has emerged that many of us hold people to account in our lives, that they meet an expectation, and the poor man does not know that. An undercover contract is an unwritten and/or tacit agreement that you have to someone. What do I mean? An undercover contract is an agreement that you believe exists, even if you have not communicated it to your partner and have obtained approval. We are constantly receiving comments, emails, survey comments, etc. from spouses who basically say, “I do all these things, but my spouse is not emptying up.” But when asked, most of the time, there was no explicit expectation.

They never said, “I want you to do [empty].” They only expect this to happen because they have completed their contract term (disguised). Of course, a marriage should not be based on a contract (hidden or some other way), it should be based on federation, but during your relationship, you will build these small contracts, it`s exactly like us humans. Until we get to the point where we actually live in an alliance relationship without waiting for the return (I`m not there yet), we can at least do our best to ensure that the contracts we enter into with our spouse are clear and defined, so that we can limit the tension that will always exist in such a deep relationship. The problem with hidden contracts is that they undermine the purpose of relationships: partnership sometimes, postponement is subtle, so you have to be absolutely honest with yourself not to let disguised contracts ruin your relationship. In my experience, I make these hidden contracts because I am more likely to do them than if I said them verbally. Most of the time it seems that when I verbally say my expectations for sex, it seems to close them down completely In marriage a lot of arguments and hurt feelings are based on expectations. These expectations can come from a variety of sources and present in a variety of forms. Expectations are not necessarily bad, but unspoken expectations are dangerous, especially if you think there is an agreement, are you willing to share an example of a disguised contract in which you participate, either as a manufacturer of disguised contracts or as a person who is expected without any idea? None of them are bad, except… If you don`t share them. A simple way to recognize a contract in disguise: every time you are in conflict, and you want to report to them all the things you do for the other person, because you feel like they missed it. Some say… Let those who enter into disguised contracts act in a justified manner.

It is a sure sign that you have a contract in disguise with your others, and it is never a good thing. I would never have thought of hidden contracts until I read your article.

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